Last we talked, we chatted about being intentional in deciphering the people that God called us to be in relationship with. The goal was to develop a habit of intentional living in every area of our lives in order to live a purpose driven life. I want to take it a step further this week.
Moving forward in 2018, and every year after, let’s be intentional about surrounding ourselves with people who lift us up. Let’s be intentional about surrounding ourselves with people who genuinely love us with no ulterior motives; people who see us, people who really see us, inside and out; people who accept us flaws and greatness; and people who recognize and see our gifts but don’t want to use us for them. There are so many people in the world who are set on misunderstanding who we are. Let’s be intentional about surrounding ourselves with people who see who we are at our cores and love us fiercely and fearlessly. No more luke warm relationships in our lives! It’s either we are all in or not in it together at all.
It’s time that we stop subjecting ourselves to relationships that don’t serve the better parts of who we are. The time is now that we put an end to relationships that don’t serve us and relationships that we aren’t called to. The time is now that we put an end to relationships that take more than they give and never respect the law of reciprocity.
It is time to… C L E A N H O U S E!
It is time to get rid of the dead weight.
The old fashion way… a pros and cons list.
Make a list of every individual in your life who has access to your spiritual, mental and emotional well-being. This list should consist of family members, friends, associates who have your direct contact, and of course those you are in a romantic relationship with. Start with the relationships that hold the most weight in your life and then the ones that give you the most turmoil or cause the most confusion in your life. Then start your pros and cons list…
Questions to Ask Yourself:
How does the relationship affect your mental/emotional/spiritual well-being?
What role does this person play in your life?
What role do you play in this person’s life?
Is this a relationship that more often, adds to you, or takes away?
How do you feel after you’ve hung out with this person?
How do you feel after you’ve spoken on the phone with this person?
Do you genuinely believe that this person is for you?
Do their words build you up or tear you down?
Is this person honest with you?
Can you trust this person with your delicate transparency?
Is this person good for you?
Is this person a good influence for the positive changes you are trying to make in your life?
Do I relate with this person more based on who I use to be or who I am now (very important for long term relationships)?
Pro Example: How does this relationship benefit your life? How does this relationship add value to my life? Is this a person who celebrates me? Is this a person who is genuinely happy for the good things that happen in my life?
Con Example: How does the relationship negatively impact my life? What negative impacts does this relationship have on my spiritual/emotional/mental well-being?
Make a list of ‘yes people, who are hopefully not, “yes friends”. Also, make a list of, “that’s a no for me” people.
If you are struggling with the decision to sever some of those unhealthy relationships, spend a month in prayer and fasting but then act, make some decisions. This is no easy task but if we obey God, He will give grace to those who have may suffer as a result of our obedience. We must simply obey and leave the rest in God’s hand. God will comfort those we may walk away from and He will show them a new normal that involves us loving one another from a distance. We are moving into a season where we must be intentional in our living and also unapologetic about self-preservation.
It’s time we start being intentional about living our best lives and part of that is surrounding ourselves with people who are the best for us, ensuring we sustain and nurture healthy (not perfect) relationships.
For those, “yes people”, start being intentional about nurturing those healthy relationships. Ask them how you can be a better companion to them and vice versa, identify areas you both may need to work on.
It’s time we self-preserve! God wants to do some special things in our lives in 2018 and everybody can’t come along for the journey!
So it’s time to clean house!